


If By Chance, Would You Take My Love?

by knightlywonders



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Male Character, Chatting & Messaging, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Falling In Love, Firefighters, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Jealous Evan "Buck" Buckley, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious, Online Dating, Realization, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, anonymous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25298389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightlywonders/pseuds/knightlywonders
Summary: Buck and Eddie join an anonymous dating app. The App is solely based on personality so there aren't any pictures so people can't judge on looks. So the algorithm based their personalities with the person best suited for their match.Turns out that Buck and Eddie are a great match.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz & Athena Grant (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz & Firehouse 118 Crew, Eddie Diaz & Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Firehouse 118 Crew, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz/Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	If By Chance, Would You Take My Love?

Buck didn’t hate the holidays, he loved them, it was the fact that he was alone this December, he watched everyone be together being all cutesy and disgusting that he wanted to throw up and hose them down with the ladder truck. It made Buck feel like he was all alone. He was done putting down the Christmas decorations. It was almost New Years and he wanted out of his apartment. He looked outside Chimney was wiping clean, while Maddie with the her belly kissed Chimney as he saw her. Buck saw happiness fill up as they saw each other. Loneliness drenched all over himself, he was glad that his sister finally found someone that was great for her.

Now, it was his turn. His turn to feel what love actually is like. What being loved back is like. Buck turned himself into Buck 2.0 rather than just staying in that range of being “himbo” a reaching to be a decent person and yet failing at it. Buck now, is going to be focusing on person rather than the sex that comes after a 20 minute conversation. He had this new outlook in life even though that he all he had was his old habits that are still stuck in his brain he’ll ignore them.

Buck was tired of people just swiping right aimlessly on his profile just by seeing his arms and his perfect teeth and his shirtless photos. Buck never had problems when it came to meeting up with people or even the just being around with them. He would talk with the surrounding girls, guys, as if he was a natural. That’s it. He just wanted more than just a few drinks here and there; he wanted more than just meaningless sex, and pleasure. Now that Buck is Buck 2.0, he had to aim higher. Although, when Buck meets up with the other person at a loud bar, or a place the girl, guys, people suggests and he’s expecting a full on conversation not a five minutes “hi, hello,” Sure, they talk, he makes a joke, the other person smiles, they both laugh. Their shoulders touch, then there’s a moment, a slight moment where the person looks at Buck’s blue eyes then he leans in a little closer and they don’t resist. One drink, two drinks compliments later… his clothes off his body and he’s pushed him on his bed. About two hours later, the other person would have a foot out the door and look back at Buck with the same satisfied face saying, “sure gimme a call” and they never call back.

After the action Buck has, he’s on his bed with major regrets bouncing around in his brain. Buck groaned with regret, slamming his head against the pillow and he stared up against the ceiling. He hates this part of himself. He was bored of all of this the meaningless sex, the fake flirting of men and women just wanting him for a night of fun that they’ll forget later on. Finally, Buck just was trying to find someone that would actually see him for well…. _Him_. Was it wrong from him to be wanting to cuddle after, watch movies after a long shift at work? There was no dates, no actual great laughs at his stupid jokes about life or that they know he’s a firefighter or that he actually graduated college he wanted more. Buck was laying on his dirty bed filled with regret and his body just reeking of sweat and other bodily fluids he didn’t want to think about he. Buck is tired of it. He wanted to real deal. The dates, the long walks on Santa Monica Pier. The kiss on top of the ferris wheel. Or was his dream too much of fantasy to become real?

Evan “Buck” Buckley wanted all of the fluff that comes with dating. The tall sky eyed manwanted surprise that made his heart race. That spark that everyone talks about, it’s that moment you realize, “holy shit… you’re the person I’ve been looking for my entire life.” To pull them close and that moment where it’s like it’s just you and the other person and the rest of the world is erased from the planet. Then gravity or the universe pull you two together leaning in and just lips kiss. mistakes that make memories last. He wanted the intense look where it’s just silence between him and the other person and then just like magnets their lips just connect. That sweetness of touch just fills you up like gingerbread at Christmas or like water after a long run… a long run where you’ve been looking for your “other half” which to be fair, Buck didn’t believe too much in. But he is a believer in love. Buck never told anyone that he’s a big romcom fan, it was his favorite genre of movies sure, there’s action, mystery and others but romcom is the best. What Buck means like they always find each other at the end. He just felt that something in his life was missing; something that his mind yearned for, something that other people he that he saw everywhere. Someone in next to them, some that truly sees Buck for who he is, not some hookup toy.

Is that too much to ask for?

He breathes in frustration at the dating app that he usually uses rather than opening it and seeing his matches, the tall blonde turns off his phone and stares up at the silver ceiling of the station house. He sets his phone down on the bar on the colored side so his screen won’t light up in notifications. He kept himself twirling on the bar stool waiting for Cap to walk in with groceries. He was at the firehouse bored out of his mind doing nothing. Chim was working out downstairs taking his mind off of Maddie’s mood swings and the upcoming baby while Hen was playing Grand Theft Auto cursing at the screen because she was losing the round. Eddie wasn’t in the firehouse today due to the fact of parent teacher conferences. It made Buck’s day blsnd not having his best friend there. Laughing at some stupid things that Buck did. Buck wanted something to happen to make his day pass by faster. Not that he wanted anyone to get hurt, maybe just a kitten stuck in a tree would be fine. Anything to get him out of this slump right?  
“Oh no. We got Buck thinking again.” Hen turned around staring at him with curiousness mixed in with caution as if he was a human ticking time bomb, “What’s happening in that head of yours?” she asks with her head laying on her fist.

“Nothing.” Buck stopped twirling, and his thoughts collided in his head like bumper cars.

“Buck.” Hen said with a stern voice actually concerned, “What’s wrong?”

Buck huffs out tired like he was confessing to a crime, he didn’t know where to start, the multiple dating apps he was on, his actual feelings or the one night stands he’s been having with different guys and girls this week. He was back of being Buck 1.0 which he hated. All their faces started to blend together and he didn’t like that was happening in his head again. He didn’t want to return to Buck 1.0 he promised himself he wouldn’t. He felt disgusted with himself lately. He thought that he outgrew himself from that part of his life. “The self diagnosed sex addict” which he definitely was not. It was just a lame excuse for himself to act the way he acted. He breathed out, “I want to have what you have Hen.”

“What?”

“You know,” he didn’t continue to Hen, as if she knew what Buck was talking about, “the white picket fence, a kid, a wife.” Buck says, “Love. Hen, I want _real love_.” The firefighter huffed out tired, “when people see me all they see is just a sex machine they can fondle around with and have fun without getting to know me-- the real me.”

“Wow Buck,” Hen was actually surprised at his response, he could see it written all over her face like a neon billboard on Hollywood Ave. Hen realized that Buck actually grew up finally getting rid of the kid she was working with, “What brought this up?”

“Just seeing everyone happy and just you know _together_.” Buck says, “I want that. I want to actually feel love again.” He saw everyone at the Christmas party May with Bobby and Athena, even Chim with Maddie who had been less than a year and they were already practically a couple. Comparing to Buck who was here at least 4 years and he had an empty space to cozy up to. He breathed staring at the white ceiling hoping that he didn’t pour everything onto Hen’s lap. Yet, he wanted the secrets of how to find love. All the things that came out his mouth was that is true. He wanted to wake up to another person in his arms with smiles on their faces. Sure, it took a long time, after Abbey, who helped him grow into a better person. The Buck that he is right now, is the Buck that he keeps wants still wants to be. He didn’t want to accept the fact that they weren’t together anymore. Then came Ally who was great and for once maybe he found a girl that was right for him yet she couldn’t see him hurt from saving people’s lives all the time. He wanted to keep doing his job. He love it. It was his life. Being a firefighter is his life, he couldn’t let that go. He got up from the bar stool, “I want to see a person in the morning and text them ‘good morning beautiful’ or just surprise them with anything.” He paced around the kitchen, “I just want what you and Karen have, love and affection, it’s always there.”

“Buck, you’ll find someone.”

“You really think so?” Buck questioned her like spitting out gum, “I just feel like I’m gonna be alone for the rest of my life.”

“Buck, you’re not gonna be alone.” Hen said trying to cheer him up, she got up from the sofa and patted him on the shoulder. “There’s someone for everyone Buck. Trust me.”

Buck sighed, he did trust her, or he wouldn’t go into a burning with her. Hen was a wise, he could ask for advice one anything to hen and she’ll give him a great answer, “I tried Tinder, Bumble, everything I could imagine. But nothing. I just feel like I’m this sex object that people can just toss away.”

“Buck you aren’t a sex object you’re so much more than that.” Hen saw Buck didn’t move or flinch at her comment, he didn’t believe her enough. He was still in debating even thinking of dating someone again. The glow that his eyes had were just gone when it came to himself, he hated taking about himself, still, she Hen hated that seeing Buck going home, alone. Although she saw him with Eddie and Chris, which she wasn’t gonna lie, they made the prefect family. The both of them made Chris laugh, and Buck sometimes does spend the night at Eddie’s it’s not like it’s anything different. Buck sometimes picks up Chris at school, and He even goes to his events because Chris wants them there. Eddie would calm Buck down at situations that would piss anyone off. Eddie was like an anchor for Buck. That glow that Buck always has, he shines brighter when he’s with Eddie. Still, it’s not like Eddie is a part of the LGBT community and he’s seeing Ana, Chris’s English teacher, both of them were just best friends and that’s it nothing less nothing more, “Look there’s an app, me and Karen met on, it’s called _Heartlines,_ ” she open the App Store on her phone and there it was, “It’s not that popular, all you do is just put in what your interests are, and the AI does the rest. It matches you with the closest match in your city or area.”

Buck read the description of _Heartlines_ , “You can’t put up a picture of yourself. It’s only chat.”

“Exactly.” Hen smiles, “So your match has zero idea what you look like.”

Buck liked the app, and he flipped paying attention, downloading the app onto his phone. Once it was done downloading, he opened the app, and an image of a human heart appeared with a road, “The road leading to your true love” was written underneath.” And the instructions were simple, like Hen said, Buck selected his birth month, the day, and the year. After he selected everyone. Since he was bisexual, he liked both genders. There were options of sports, music genres; the artist, bands, then movies, tv shows, a question that made him stop, was

_“Do you care if your match has kids?”_

His mind flashed to Eddie and 9 year old Chris, the fun times that he had with them, the skateboard and the laughter that came out of Chris. The sense of pure happiness. It filled his heart with warmth it was like it made Buck feel fuzzy and surge of happiness through his body. Buck hasn’t felt that way in a long time. But why Eddie and Chris? Why did he thing about them out of all his other memories? It doesn't matter. Then his mind flashed to the first day that he met Eddie and got introduced to Chris on his phone, he told Eddie Chris was so cute, and he loved kids. So what does that all mean? Just snap out of it Buck. It was just the question that made him think about Chris. He hasn’t seen Chris in over a week. Maybe his mind is reminding him that yes, he loves kids. Buck looked back at the two options:

_“Yes or No?”_

Buck tapped on the option on, _“No”_ he doesn’t mind that his match has kids or not.

* * *

Eddie saw Abuela outside of the porch ready to take in Chris with open arms. She was enjoying the 70 degree weather that hits Los Angeles so rarely in the summer time. Eddie ran to the other side of the car opening the door for Chris but Chris wanted to do it on his own. Eddie backed away from the car while Chris stepped slowly — struggling— but doing it nevertheless. Eddie was watching him, in case he fell he smiled seeing his own son smile for every step he took. Eddie didn’t argue he liked the new attitude that his son had, independency. It made him feel proud seeing him do things alone without help. He wanted his son to feel normal well, at least the most part. Eddie didn’t want to be such a sappy father, but he was, he was glad that his son was growing up but he didn’t want to grow up too fast he wanted to enjoy Chris’s childhood, his laughs his birthdays even the long talks about life… even though that they were serious. On thing that he learned on the job is life is precious don’t waste it. 

Eddie had the day off today, he had to go to Chris’s school for parent-teacher conferences. So he spent the time with his Abuela since both him and Chris were bored in the house. He had to drop him off there anyways why not have some fun. They went inside the yellow house, they past the living room, filled with memories of his grandfather, and the rest of his familia he watch Chris sit down on the floor with his bag pulling out his legos and coloring books and the Superman comic that Buck gave him.

The mixture of the sweet smell of guava and stark smell of cheese. Eddie didn’t know whether to believe his nose, “You’re making them?” Eddie grinned as he turned seeing his grandmother looking up at him, his mouth started to water as his mind started to imagine Abuela’s famous _empanadas de guayaba_ , “holy shit,” Eddie saw the ingredients on the table.

“Ey, language.”

“sorry.” Eddie blushed as he was scolded by his grandmother, “you’re gonna help me make them Edmundo.”

“But-“ Eddie didn't want to but he felt bad that she has been helping him with Chris and she has been all alone in this house. Without her he didn’t know what he would do, Pepa and his uncle were at work, of course there was Carla, but she had other patients to take care of as well,“Fine.” He laid out plainly, sure Eddie didn't want to help her, not because he was lazy to he didn’t inherit her ability in the kitchen, he didn’t mind the cooking, he all he did was mimic her, hoping that his will turn out great like hers usually does. She took out a slab of guava jam from the glass bottle she had in front of her and wiped it onto her dough.Eddie took the knife, dipping it into the jar and wiping it on the white dough.

“You know,” Abuela started. _Here we go,_ Eddie thought, she was gonna say something meddling into his life, Abuela didn’t know how subtly passive aggressive, “You’ve been alone for some time mojo,”

 _And there it is_. Eddie paused as he closed the empanada, he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to lie. He checked on Christopher who was still on the table playing with the multicolored legos. What was there to say? He wasn’t dating anyone. Hell, he had no time to date with being a father, and a firefighter, where did he have time to find a date. “No Abuela, I’m not dating anyone.” His voice was low, and he spat out. He didn’t mean it to come out so mean, he was tired of hearing the same old conversation coming from her.

“I know. I’ve seen you come with just Chris on Sundays, I thought you would’ve found someone by now.”

Eddie sighed, “Abuela, I have things to do, a job, Christopher, I don’t have time to eat somedays, let alone from some date.” He hated having the “dating conversation” with people even with his team. Eddie wasn’t seeing anyone and people should expect him to date anyone. For right now, Eddie thinks that the best thing that he should do is just focus on Christopher and keeping a roof on top of their heads. He knew that his family was talking about him being alone behind his back, “is the whole family seriously talking about it? Chismosos todos”

Abuela exhaled her concerned, “Mira mijo, I know sound repetitive, but Edmundo it’s been two years, since—“

“Shannon died,” Eddie put down the knife, “You think I don’t know that?” he stood up and looked out the doorways seeing Chris building something out of the legos. He didn’t want to think about her, Eddie just thought about the things that he could’ve done to even save her, he kept replaying that day in his head thinking if maybe he was faster, if he just—fuck— he breathed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“Esta bien nieto.” Her voice became soft and he felt her cold hands reach his back making him jump back to reality. “I haven’t seen you as happy as you used to be Edmundo, you know how I am.”

“I just for right now I want to focus on Christopher. The kid was hurting and I didn’t notice, I need to do a better job as a father Abuela.”

“Eddie at what cost? Your happiness? Your life? Eddie I think you are a saint caring for Christopher by yourself but you have think about yourself once in a while. Eddie people aren’t supposed to alone forever.”

Eddie smirked at the thought that came into his head, “You think I’m lonely?” Eddie narrowed his eyes at her, he voice was dry, full with insult. “Really?” To Eddie the statement was redundant, he looked at his Abuela seeing the house filled of pictures of his Abuelo that he didn’t really know. She was alone in this house the only things that kept her sane was old memories of her late husband.

“I think I’m worried about you mijo,” she walked in front of him, so he could pay attention to her, “You go to work, you have Chris but that’s it. That’s not enough in life trust me people need love in their life to life.”

“I have—“ he was going to Buck, but he didn’t, Buck is his best friend sure, but still, he didn’t know why Buck was the first person to come up in his head. He wondered, did he have anyone else outside the fire station that he could talk to? Still, Buck came in mind. Eddie shookhis best friend out of his mind,“I have the 118, Abuela,” he made up as the sentence reverberated in his head. He had to change the answer. Still why was he shy about Buckley? He had nothing to be hiding. Not to his Abuela; who knew Buck and how Buck was great with Chris. But still. A part of him locked Buck inside his brain. Whatever. He wanted to stop this conversation as soon as possible.

“I know this girl who lives across the street—“

“Abuelita,” Eddie moaned out tired as this conversation was tiring him out worse than a 24 hour shirt at the station house. Especially now that she is trying to set him up with a woman, _again_

“Who found her beautiful girlfriend on this new dating app.” She finished her sentence,

“I don’t need a dating app to find a date.”

“Really? You shouldn’t spend more night alone in that bed, you need love in your life Eddie, it’s what keeps the world moving. It keeps your mind wondering your body alive.”

“Fine, fine.” Eddie just wanted the conversation to end now.He wanted his grandmother to get out of his love life or the little he has. Eddie took out his phone, “What the app called?”

“She called it _Heartlines_. ”

Eddie typed the words in and he read the description of the app, You don’t see the person’s face, just their profile and the A.I. matches you with the best possible match in the area. “Let us build you the the line straight to your soulmate!”

Great. He can’t believe that he was roped into this app, by his grandmother no less! He rolled his eyes and pressing the screen see the circle fill as the “open” button came up in the screen. Eddie growled as the app opened, and an image of a human heart appeared with a road, “ _The road leading to your true love_ ” was written underneath. And the instructions were simple; fill out the survey, and allow the location settings to on when the user using the app. “There were options of sports, music genres; the artist, bands, then movies, tv shows. It was the usual stuff but then, there was question, _“Do you have kids?”_ Eddie didn’t hesitate at the question, Yes.He sat back down at the table where his grandmother was making the empanadas while he was making his profile. _“No face pictures allowed!”_ Eddie looked at his photo album. He wasn’t paying attention to his Abuela anymore, who was talking in Spanish about another girl that Eddie should meet even though she suckered him into this app. Eddie eyed his screened as a question popped on his screen that made his world halt.

_“Do you care if your match has kids?”_

That question, he paused at and looked at Chris, he was quiet, concentrating on reading the comic Buck gave him. Being Chris’s father made him think about his future, what if this app does actually work and he get married, again. Then he looked at his Abuela, her voice echoing in his head him being alone all the time. Shannon has been dead for two years now, has he moved on? Was he ready to? Was Chris to move on? What did that mean for Chris, what did his father dating mean for Chris? Was it bad? What if Chris gets a step-sibling? How would it affect him? How would him dating in total affect Chris? Was it healthy? What if Chris doesn’t like Eddie’s match?Questions swelled up in his brain, he didn’t know what to do, he was at crossroads.

* * *

Buck stared at his phone’s screen. Hoping that _Heartlines_ would find him a match. Was he this complicated that even a computer algorithm can’t even figure out? That thought rattled inside his mind. At this rated no one would match with him. There was nothing for Buck to do on the app, he didn’t have to swipe left or right, super like what he saw instead of the profile bio that was usually written underneath the sexy intimate picture to lure someone one to chat or hopefully more. So he let the app be, he just closed it while it searched for the right person suited for Buck. The firefighter huffed out, as he heard Chim and Hen playing video games after he gave up on the round that he was on. It was a quiet day, Buck was almost over with his shift and one call came in, it was low priority and no one needed to go to the hospital. He wanted to call Eddie to ask him how the teacher’s conference was going. But he decided not to, he was probably busy with the teachers talking about his favorite Diaz.

Buck looked at Maddie’s context info, and realized that she was probably sleeping since carrying a baby was tiring on her and Chimney who was already gone for the night probably with Maddie. Buck sighed, and compared himself to Chimney and Maddie, which still was amazes Buck that they a couple so fast and now expecting a baby. It was whiplash for him. Though he saw the way that Chimney made his sister laugh, and the way that Maddie’s face lights up when she talks about her boyfriend. Where could he find that for himself? Or specifically who would love him that much?

Buck down his phone and stared at Cap, who was cooking dinner, following a cookbook that he bought. He was cooking vegan since the beginning of the month, he wanted the house to be on a healthier diet rather than him cooking slightly healthy meals. Bobby kept looking at the book,then adding the ingredients to the pot that he was using. Buck guess that he didn’t realize that he was talking to himself checking over the recipe over again. “Hey Cap,” Buck said innocently, hoping that he didn’t disturb him.

“Buck.”

“How’d you know that Athena was the one?” Buck was on the chair hoping, for an answer so maybe he can know that he can find out one future person is that he goes out with is the one that he will spend…. Well his foreseeable future with. Not that buck is ready for marriage, maybe just not right now.

Bobby paused at the question, like he was a statue, Bobby was a like a computer processor trying to comprehend human emotion, “What?” Bobby saw how Buck was intrigued by the question that he wanted an actual answer, to be honest, Bobby wanted to say that he just knew. He knew that Athena was the right woman for him. “Well Buck,” he didn’t want to lie to Buck, seeing the confusion that was swirling in his eyes, “I saw a future with Athena, she wanted me to moved in but I wanted to go all the way with her. In my heart I just knew.” That he was the answer that Bobby gave Buck, the true answer that he he could give him. Bobby knew that it wasn’t gonna satisfy the younger firefighter, but that’s the truth. Bobby knew that Athena in all her sassiness, and her bravery she was the woman that he gave his heart, “Why do you wanna know?” He added a pinch of salt to the mixture of vegetables in the bowl.

“Hen recommended me this app, and—“

“An app, Buck you go out with women all the time.”

“No, I have sex with women all the time.” Buck clarified, “I don’t want to do that anymore, I’m a different person now, since Abby, since Alli, I want to find the right person that is,” Buck put it the next phrase in air quotes, “the one.” Sure to Buck would have liked a better answer than “I just knew” coming from Bobby, his captain was supposed to be the smartest he knew, was there a sign that told Bobby that Athena was his one, to marry her, to spend the rest of his life with the police sergeant. “I want the all of it, the strings,”

“Everyone is different Buck, I don’t have the right answers that you’re looking for.”

One last thing that Buck had to do was to create a username for himselffor Heartlines. The difference that he gave himself was that he gave himself a different username than ‘Firehose’ he didn’t feel right using that username with this new chapter of Buck was starting. ‘Firehose’ was 'Buck 1.0’ status; him trying to get in every girl’s pants that would stare at him with pleading eyes or the right girl direct messaging him to have hot meaningless sex.

No, now, _this_ Evan Buckley was different, he was going to find the right person, be in love, hopefully have a future that he can have. Maybe with a person that won't stop everything to travel the world. Still he understood the reason for that, but the pain was there the healed scab but, he was ready to move on. And he did, yet he found a girl that he really like but she couldn’t see him in a cast. She couldn’t bare to see him in the hospital hurt again. So she turned her back and took off to the outside world leaving Buck behind. So Buck laid on the couch he rolled his eyes at the thought of reusing his old username and deleted that before typing in ** _“WildFire”_** then pressing enter.

Buck didn’t want to be stuck behind the door of his apartment, alone where he just sees the world pass by. He reached out hoping that someone with pull him out of the dark water that he was sinking in pulling up to the surface. And maybe this app could be the lifeline that guides him find a breath of fresh air that can help him see the world in a different way.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I finally wrote this! So drop a comment and tell me what you think! and yes... I kinda promoted my own fic in in this fic Haha 😂! I love you guys! Tell me what you think! Anything is great!


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